Who is St. Valentine?

According to numerous sources, St. Valentine, a priest in Rome, was both romantic and dedicated to his faith. The Roman Emperor of the time, Claudius II, forbade young men to marry because he thought single men made better soldiers. Valentine secretly married young couples and consequently was arrested and put in prison. The threat of death could not induce Valentine to renounce his faith. While in prison, he prayed for and healed the blind daughter of a judge, Asterius, who with his family converted to Christianity and suffered martyrdom with Valentine. Before his execution, Valentine wrote a farewell message to the daughter of the judge and signed it, "From your Valentine.” In 498 A.D. Pope Gelasius named February 14th as St. Valentine's Day. The remains of St. Valentine are at the Whitefriar St Church in Dublin, Ireland, with a specially designed altar and shrine.

Handmade Cards

According to Elaine Marshall, a collector of Victorian Valentines, women started making Valentine cards in their homes in the 1870’s for commercial trade. About fifteen to twenty women would sit around a large table and make the Valentine’s, each adding a layer onto the card.  Some were tasked with writing the poems, others with painting the cards, and a  third group would add the finishing touches and accents. Decorative stickers like the ones shown below were sometimes used. “Penny Dreadfuls”Modernized technology removed many of the ornate, personalized elements of Valentines. Although many of the newer cards were still quite beautiful, sometimes not receiving a Valentine card was better than getting one. In the late 1800’s,

“Penny Dreadfuls”

became popular and were aptly named since they cost a penny to send and were meant to be insulting. Unattractive, mean spirited Valentines were also called "Vinegar Valentines.”

Tips N Tricks for Proper Courtship Practices, Victorian Style

Suitors (always a man back in those days) and ladies were to observe strict  etiquette if they were to be perceived as properly bred and suitable. The following excerpts are taken directly from a handy guide purchased from “The Ruby Slipper” antique shop in Windham, entitled: Our Deportment: The Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society, published in 1882.

For the ladies:

No mixed messages

“A young lady who is not engaged may receive calls and attention from such unmarried gentlemen as she desires, and may  accept invitation to ride, to concerts, to theatres, etc. She should use due discretion, however, as to whom she favors by the acceptance of such invitations. A young lady should not allow special attention from anyone to whom she is not specially attracted, because, first, she may do injury to the gentleman in seeming to give his suit encouragement; and, secondly, she may keep away from her those whom she likes better, but will not approach her under the mistaken idea that her feelings are already interested.”

Play hard to get, sort of

“No well bred lady will too eagerly receive the attentions of a gentlemen, no matter how much she admires him; nor, on the other hand, will she be so reserved as to altogether discourage him.”

No flirting!

“It is only the contemptible flirt that keeps an honorable man in suspense for the purpose of glorifying herself by his attentions in the eyes of friends. Nor would any but a frivolous or vicious girl boast of the offer she has received and rejected.”

For the Gentlemen:

Play fair

“Gentlemen are at liberty to accept invitations and give them ad libitum. As soon, however, as a young gentleman neglects all others, to devote himself to a single lady, he gives that lady reason to suppose that he is particularly attracted to her, and may give her cause to believe she is to become engaged to him, without telling her so. A gentleman who does not contemplate matrimony should not pay too exclusive attention to any one lady.”

Slow down!

“It is very injudicious, not to say presumptuous, for a gentleman to make a proposal to a young lady on too brief acquaintance. A lady who would accept a gentleman at first sight can hardly possess the discretion needed to make a good wife.”

Although these practices are obviously dated and seem silly today, the personalization of cards could be a nice tradition to continue. Maybe instead of sending an electronic or mass produced card, you could surprise your honey with a hand made card of your own making. Maine is full of craft stores complete with low-cost papers and ornaments.

Please take a tour of this mini gallery of my grandmother’s Victorian Valentine collection. These are but a few of her 80 plus cards. Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you like old-fashioned Valentines, visit Averyl's Valentine website at www.vintageclipart.com for even more vintage Valentine image